I have spent so many years of my life doubting myself, comparing myself to others, putting myself down and believing that I was not good enough. I used to throw on countless outfits, every morning, stand in front of the mirror, feeling sorry for myself and end up running late because I felt I couldn’t find something I looked good in. I was used to leaving the house feeling flustered, annoyed and insecure. I seemed to have been plagued with anxiety, and insecurity.
After losing some weight, learning how to dress for my body type and discovering shapewear that really flattered my figure I started to try on less outfits and feel more secure in myself but it wasn’t until I changed myself internally that I truly learned to accept myself just the way I was, love myself for who I am and truly feel confident.
Here are 7 mental hacks that helped me be more confident and can help you be more confident too.
1.What’s going into your head?
I actually have a bracelet I wear everyday that asks this question and I wear it as a constant reminder to not allow negative thoughts into my mind. There is a quote I really love. It goes- “Your mind is a garden, you can grow weeds or you can grow flowers.” Have you heard this quote before? It is simple but so true! Think of your mind as a garden. You decide what seeds you want to plant, nourish and grow. You can think to yourself “I’m so ugly” and you can continue to nurture and grow that thought day after day or you can think to yourself “I am beautiful just the way I am” and you can nurture and grow that one instead. You choose. It is so important to monitor what thoughts are going into your head and what you choose to accept as your truth.
2. Don’t compare yourself to others.
It is so easy to go into Facebook or Instagram and click a on a girl who is wearing a neon pink 2 piece bikini with perfectly tanned skin and skim through all her pictures comparing yourself and hating yourself thinking “why can’t i look like that?” or feel invisible when a beautiful girl walks in the room wearing a skin tight dress you wish you could pull off. Well Stop! Don’t do that to yourself. When you find yourself feeling that way admire her beauty and wish her well. God does not make any mistakes and designed everyone just the way they were meant to be. Everyone has their own unique package which was perfectly made for their life path and experiences. Instead of comparing yourself to others seek to be your own personal best. You may think there are so many people that are better off than you but don’t forget how many people would kill to be in your shoes!
3. Replace negativity with gratidude.
Instead of focusing on the things you don’t like, focus on the things you do like. Don’t think “Uh I hate my thighs”, “I’m so short”, “I’m too skinny” whatever it may be… Instead think about the things you do like “ I love my legs”, “My eyes are beautiful”, “I love my hair” etc. etc. Learn to shift your focus from negative to positive. REPLACE NEGATIVITY WITH GRATITUDE and feel grateful for all the beautiful features you do have.
4. Watch your self talk.
Speak to yourself the way you would someone you truly love and care about. Whenever the voice in your head whispers something judgmental, harsh or mean about yourself catch it. Don’t believe it. Step away from the thought and replace it with a gentler, kinder one. Speak to yourself with love. Be kind to yourself.
5. Face your fears.
Don’t like the way your arms look? Put on a tank top! Don’t like your thighs? Put on shorts! Hate the way you look in a bathing suit? Go to the pool! Face your fear! Once you do you will see there is really nothing to fear. It’s only when we face our fears that we can conquer them.
6. There is only one you.
There maybe someone who is thinner, has more money, more popularity etc etc but how many people think like you? Express themselves the way you do? Have your sense of humor? Have your set of priorities? Have your gifts? Your talents? Your heart? NO ONE. There is only one you. Think of everything that makes you, you. Would you really trade that for anyone else? Physical beauty changes, fades and decays. What about kindness, essence, intelligence, charisma, style and personality? That is what makes you, you. There is no one else in this world like you. Think about that. Doesn’t that make you special, priceless and extraordinary? Yes, it actually does.
7. Love yourself unconditionally.
If you have a child or a pet you probably know how it feels to love unconditionally. If your child writes on the wall you don’t love them any less. If your dog chews your favorite shoes you don’t love them any less. Well why not love yourself the same way? Just because you don’t love something about yourself doesn’t mean you should love yourself any less. Love yourself unconditionally the same way you love your children regardless of what they look like or the mistakes they make. True love is unconditional.
If you follow these tips you will be more confident no matter what you look like, or what you wear. Beauty shines from within and it is important to dedicate time to evaluate your own thoughts, and behaviors. Love yourself more, appreciate yourself, be kind to yourself and replace negativity with a grateful heart.
PS: Let’s connect on Social Media!